In 2002 I became pregnant for the first time, I weighed a healthy 145lbs. Unfortunatly I lost that pregnancy and it sent me into my first experiences with depression. By the time my next child was concieved 3 months later I weight 167lbs. I gained about 30 pounds during that pregnancy and had a healthy son. Five months after his birth I was weighing around180 pounds and oops! hello positive pregnancy test. I gained about another 30pounds with this pregnancy. My heighest pregnancy weight just before my second son was born in December of 2004 was 204 pounds. Instead of losing wieght after his birth I gained. I was exhausted, depressed and completly sleep deprived. I eat when Im depressed, and I ate a lot. Just like I was eating when I lost my first child. Finally when my youngest was about a year old I decided I had had enough of being fat. I hated how I looked I hated how I felt. I prayed at night for the next day to be better, or to die (I was super fun to live with dont you think?) I knew that my depression was getting out of control and my wieght was as well. It was either antidepressants or change my life- in a big way. Drugs scared me, I was the sole care provider to my two babies- if something happened to me during the day it would have been a disaster for my babies. So I started reading about holistic approches to treating depression. I found a link between exercise and depression. I litterally ran with it. I started walking- I took my kids out every morning in an old hand me down double stroller and we walked…and walked…and walked. Soon they decided walking sucked. So I found a program called couch to 5k ( C25K ) it was a beginner running program. At well over 200 pounds I needed something very beginner! That was the beginning of a new life for me.
